Archive | February, 2013

Selfish Fuckhead or Crybaby Dick-Whistler? You Make The Call.

14 Feb

Kids are selfish. It’s not their fault; it’s their nature. A large part of parenting is teaching your children how to suppress their selfish instincts, as indulging in selfishness can have negative effects on the people around you.

And it can make you look like a gigantic asshole. Forever.

Welcome to the Internet, Austin Krause.

Farmington goalie scores an own goal, flips off coaches, leaves the ice

Krause purposely scored a goal into his own net, then showed his middle finger in the direction of the coaching staff and gave a salute before leaving the ice in the third period of Tuesday’s Senior Night hockey game at Schmitz-Maki Arena.


Krause’s goal, scored with 3:13 remaining in the third period, tied the game 2-2. Chaska scored again about a minute later against the Tigers’ third-string goalie and went on to win 3-2.

And why did this dramatic little bitch pull such a buddy-fucking move?  Because he’s a senior and his coach was giving more playing time to a sophomore goalie.  So instead of working harder to keep his spot, he whined that he should keep his spot due to seniority.  “And I’m better than him!  WAHHH!”

Are you better, Austin?  Are you really?

Krause played 492 minutes in goal this season and had a record of 5-4-1 as the starter. His goals-against average was 2.8 andhe stopped 87.7 percent of opponents’ shots. Sophomore Gage Overby has logged about 548 minutes while earning a 5-5 record, a 2.42 goals-against average and a 90.1 save percentage. Nick Schoening has played 203 minutes in goal and has a 2.76 goals-against average and a 1-3 record.

So, you’re looking like a dick while being absolutely fucking WRONG.  The younger kid worked harder and edged you out, boy.  Quit crying like a bitch.  If that was my son, I’d be fucking ashamed of him and of myself for raising such a disrespectful and selfish little pissmire.  And I would likely express myself with knuckles.  This is small-town Minnesota.  It’s practically Canada.  You think East Texas high school football is a religion?  Try hockey parents.  This family’s name is mud.

Don’t get me wrong.  Sometimes a goalie can get away with storming off the ice in the middle of a game and quitting.  If that goalie is Hall of Famer Patrick Roy.  I’ve seen Patrick Roy play.  You’re no Patrick Roy, asshole.  And I hope you were done playing hockey for… forever, because no team is going to touch you, what with that piss-poor attitude backed up only by your lack of skill.

Your hockey future may be over, kid, but with this idea that you deserve a job no matter how much you suck, as long as you can manage to not get fired, you’ve shown you’re fucking union material, so I think you’ll eventually land on your feet.  Until that same attitude gets everyone in your company fired, that is.  Fucking Democrat.

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