The Universal Female Crazy/Hot Matrix

16 Oct

Everyone has probably heard the description of a woman as “not the kinda gal you take home to Momma.”

So who DO you take home to meet Momma?  Quit shooting in the dark.  Conserve your ammo and get some insight into what traits a true “keeper” possesses.*

*Every time I type that word I’m thinking “No way that’s correct. Too many fuckin’ Ss.” **

**And in these instances, right before I add an apostrophe to “Ss” to hopefully add clarity that I’m speaking of multiple instances of the letter “S,” I remind myself to quit being a pussy and remember that it’s the reader’s job to understand the rules of grammar. Apostrophe use to denote plurality is wrong, weak and lazy, you fucking pinko Commie writers.

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13 Responses to “The Universal Female Crazy/Hot Matrix”

  1. fluffy by nature (@fluffyAoSHQ) October 16, 2014 at 3:10 pm #

    >>>Get some insight into the traits of a true “keeper”.

    Does hearing all that French scramble your sentence structure?

    You’re welcome.

  2. Queen Hotchibobo October 16, 2014 at 5:47 pm #

    This guy is the smartest teacher ever.

  3. EC@EC.com October 17, 2014 at 3:08 pm #

    Old.

  4. Empire of Jeff October 17, 2014 at 3:49 pm #

    YOU’RE old, jagoff.

  5. Anonymous October 17, 2014 at 10:26 pm #

    My wife’s a unicorn! You’re all witnesses. Honey? Honey? This guy’s website, I just called you a unicorn! Love you baby. (thanks for the opportunity to broadcast my appreciation for the missus, Jeff.)

  6. EC October 20, 2014 at 9:17 am #

    I know you are, but what am I?!?!

  7. EC October 20, 2014 at 9:20 am #

    Actually, I once knew a girl who was asymptotic on the upper end of that Cray-Cray:Hot function.

    I was afraid of her.

  8. Empire of Jeff October 20, 2014 at 9:35 am #

    The bitter taste of crazy remains long after the sweetness of hotness has faded.

  9. EC October 20, 2014 at 9:59 am #

    She was an alcoholic too, which didn’t help in combo with the crazy. Crazy and drunk is an epileptic holding a bottle of nitroglycerin and she she just entered into a fugue state.

  10. EC October 20, 2014 at 1:48 pm #

    Are you moderating my comments?

  11. Empire of Jeff October 21, 2014 at 10:51 am #

    No, I’m not sure why the system is holding them for approval. In the settings I don’t have moderation enabled.

    I’ll have to check the individual post settings and see if the defaults are different – maybe a recent update changed things.

    Look, I DON’T KNOW SO WHY DON’T YOU GET THE FUCK OFF MY BACK?

  12. EC October 21, 2014 at 10:57 am #

    Looks like EoJ is off the y-axis!

  13. toolpusher1802 October 22, 2014 at 12:49 pm #

    I DON’T KNOW SO WHY DON’T YOU GET THE FUCK OFF MY BACK?
    Now that’s the George H.W. Bush kinder gentler side I was waiting for.

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