Why Apple Sucks So Hard That Light Cannot Escape It: A Drive-Time Technology Review

Sorry, lovers of all things Apple. Turns out the first crack in the iPhone’s armor… was actually a crack in the armor:

iSnapped my shit up

Don’t blame me, hoss. I don’t make the news; I just report it. And then piss all over it.

If you’re a Macolyte, iFag or general Apple fanboi, the next 12 minutes could get a little rough.

toolpusher1802 September 30, 2014 at 3:02 pm #

Hi EOJ, Glad to see you are still sugar coating it for the sensitive people.
Empire of Jeff September 30, 2014 at 3:04 pm #

In my travels, I have found that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
toolpusher1802 October 1, 2014 at 8:28 am #

Yes, but vinegar with water will cure toe nail fungus. So there’s that.
We miss your keen insights at AOSHQ
Empire of Jeff October 1, 2014 at 8:36 am #

I appreciate that, I really do. And you can still get my “keen insights” – you’ll just have to come here for ’em.
phoenixgirl October 1, 2014 at 11:15 am #

i love my apple products
Empire of Jeff October 1, 2014 at 2:15 pm #

You are a bad person.
beckoningchasm October 5, 2014 at 2:46 am #

I try to avoid Apple products…not because they are bad, but because I am bad.

–Null
AmericanGirlRefugee (@phxazgrl) October 6, 2014 at 1:06 pm #

i’m not bad, just misunderstood