Selfish Fuckhead or Crybaby Dick-Whistler? You Make The Call.

14 Feb

Kids are selfish. It’s not their fault; it’s their nature. A large part of parenting is teaching your children how to suppress their selfish instincts, as indulging in selfishness can have negative effects on the people around you.

And it can make you look like a gigantic asshole. Forever.

Welcome to the Internet, Austin Krause.

Farmington goalie scores an own goal, flips off coaches, leaves the ice

Krause purposely scored a goal into his own net, then showed his middle finger in the direction of the coaching staff and gave a salute before leaving the ice in the third period of Tuesday’s Senior Night hockey game at Schmitz-Maki Arena.


Krause’s goal, scored with 3:13 remaining in the third period, tied the game 2-2. Chaska scored again about a minute later against the Tigers’ third-string goalie and went on to win 3-2.

And why did this dramatic little bitch pull such a buddy-fucking move?  Because he’s a senior and his coach was giving more playing time to a sophomore goalie.  So instead of working harder to keep his spot, he whined that he should keep his spot due to seniority.  “And I’m better than him!  WAHHH!”

Are you better, Austin?  Are you really?

Krause played 492 minutes in goal this season and had a record of 5-4-1 as the starter. His goals-against average was 2.8 andhe stopped 87.7 percent of opponents’ shots. Sophomore Gage Overby has logged about 548 minutes while earning a 5-5 record, a 2.42 goals-against average and a 90.1 save percentage. Nick Schoening has played 203 minutes in goal and has a 2.76 goals-against average and a 1-3 record.

So, you’re looking like a dick while being absolutely fucking WRONG.  The younger kid worked harder and edged you out, boy.  Quit crying like a bitch.  If that was my son, I’d be fucking ashamed of him and of myself for raising such a disrespectful and selfish little pissmire.  And I would likely express myself with knuckles.  This is small-town Minnesota.  It’s practically Canada.  You think East Texas high school football is a religion?  Try hockey parents.  This family’s name is mud.

Don’t get me wrong.  Sometimes a goalie can get away with storming off the ice in the middle of a game and quitting.  If that goalie is Hall of Famer Patrick Roy.  I’ve seen Patrick Roy play.  You’re no Patrick Roy, asshole.  And I hope you were done playing hockey for… forever, because no team is going to touch you, what with that piss-poor attitude backed up only by your lack of skill.

Your hockey future may be over, kid, but with this idea that you deserve a job no matter how much you suck, as long as you can manage to not get fired, you’ve shown you’re fucking union material, so I think you’ll eventually land on your feet.  Until that same attitude gets everyone in your company fired, that is.  Fucking Democrat.

7 Responses to “Selfish Fuckhead or Crybaby Dick-Whistler? You Make The Call.”

  1. Deb Wagner February 15, 2013 at 8:15 pm #

    ‘Your hockey future may be over,kid, but with this idea that you deserve a job no matter how much you suck’. . . step on up and be President of the United States!!! Yowza, this little pantywaist needs to have this video follow him for the rest of his life.

  2. EC February 18, 2013 at 11:20 pm #

    Hey Jeff, you ever see that movie “Goon” with Sean William Scott? It’s a hockey flick and this guy reminds me of someone from it.

  3. Larry February 28, 2013 at 7:13 pm #

    I vote for “Selfish Crybaby Dick-Whistler Fuckhead”

  4. DiogenesLamp March 4, 2013 at 6:09 pm #

    What the hell. You respect George Will’s opinion, right?

    Read this article.

  5. Empire of Jeff March 4, 2013 at 7:31 pm #

    No. Could not give a fuck less what a man who prides himself on never having worn a pair of jeans except once, and that sarcastically, thinks.

    Fucking powdered douchestocking.

    Here’s the problem: There’s what the law IS, and there’s what you WISH it was. If you are born in the United States, you are a citizen. Period. I have friends here in Canada whose children were born in the US while they were living and working there. Those kids are US citizens and have US passports.

    Because That’s The Law.

    All the Federalist Paper links in the world will not change that fact. The 14th Amendment is very clearly worded. That the Founders did not anticipate a wave of illegal immigrants is immaterial. The law is what it is. Don’t like it? Amend the Constitution. But you know that won’t happen and you refuse to live in a world in which you sometimes lose.

    Guess what? You lose. Welcome to the adult world.

  6. DiogenesLamp March 5, 2013 at 8:45 am #

    Adult world? It must mean something different where you come from. Where i’m from, putting your fingers in your ears and refusing to hear something is childish.

    You proffer an ad hominem attack on George Will as a reason why you should not read what he writes?

    That too is childish.

    You have convinced me that I will be wasting both of our times by presenting any evidence to you. You’re mind is made up, and no amount of facts or reason will sway it.

    That too is childish.

    Sorry to have bothered you.

  7. Empire of Jeff March 5, 2013 at 8:56 am #

    No. Open your fuckin eyes, jerky. I proffered an ad hominem attack AND directly rebutted Will’s article.

    You didn’t mention that, of course, because pointing out that you have a long row to hoe if you want to change immigration law isn’t satisfying enough for you. No, there’s got to be some magical loophole that if you can JUST GET EVERYONE TO SEE, then all your problems are solved.

    Loopholes like a hidden birth certificate that will erase the last two presidential elections. Or a letter from John Jay to Henrietta Throckmorton that will suddenly change the definition of “natural born citizen.”

    That’s not happening. Grow the fuck up or continue your childhood elsewhere.

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