The Value Of Being Judgmental

23 Jul

Stop me if you’ve heard these before:

“You shouldn’t be so judgmental.”

“Judge not lest ye be judged.”

“You shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.”

Really?  I shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover?  How am I supposed to anticipate what’s in it?  What do you think this one is about?

Surprisingly, Swamp Lust was NOT about wetlands preservation.

Surprisingly, Swamp Lust was NOT about wetlands preservation.

And yet, every time we make a stupid decision, we’re told “You should have used better judgment.”  It sounds contradictory, because it is.  Judgment is a valuable tool that keeps us from making stupid decisions and alerts us to take advantage of opportunities that may not be readily apparent.  Good judgment tells you that being 95% sure that the hot chick you’re talking up in that French Quarter bar is actually a chick just isn’t good enough for a guy like you.  That is, a guy who doesn’t want to wake up with a pounding ether headache and a rubber hanging out of his ass.

Bad judgment tells you that it’s perfectly fine to let your hammered friend drive you home, because hey – if he gets into a wreck, HE gets the DUI, not you.  Great plan, until it ends with the Fire Department hosing your ashes out of the flaming wreck of your buddy’s car while he walks away without a scratch.

But we’re not supposed to judge each other, right?  That’s what it’s all about – and it’s usually coming from people who are super defensive about the shady choices they’ve made.  Fuck all that.  Some people are assholes.  People like Amanda Marcotte,  who if I were being judgmental, strikes me as a bitter, man-hating, fishlicking tuna boat captain who will only be mourned by her five cats.  Until day three, when they’re finally hungry enough to eat her corpse.  Here’s Amanda pissed that anyone would be happy to celebrate the birth of Kate Middleton and Prince William’s new baby boy:

  ‏@AmandaMarcotte22 Jul

I’ll give everyone a couple of hours to enjoy this arbitrarily selected baby to gush over before I start reminding you of infant mortality.

Really, bitch?  Really?   What are you mad about – that people feel happy to see a married heterosexual couple bring a new life into the world?  That you’re not getting enough attention?  Or are you mad that God didn’t love you enough to make you pretty?

I'm guessing her cat is named "Sontag" and loves playing with the chain connected to her wallet.

I’m guessing her cat is named “Sontag” and loves playing with the chain connected to her wallet.

You know what’s really got to chafe your undoubtedly unshaven hamhocks, dearie?  That you can’t spell Amanda without “MAN.”  See how the patriarchy keeps hammering you with its giant rapey Dick of Oppression?

But she can’t be   all bad.  After all, it was because of her that I stumbled across my new daily read:  JUDGYBITCH.

“JB” is one of the best writers I’ve come across on the Intertubes.  She seems to put out about a post a day, but they’re all fairly lengthy, well thought-out essays ranging from antifeminist ranting to more antifeminist ranting, and some surprisingly poignant observations on the nature of true, mature, everyday married love, which was buried in the middle of some quality antifeminist ranting.  Plus, there’s lots of pictures for simpletons like me to stare at when the thoughtwords hurt my headbrain.

I am well and fully aware that there is a huge disparity between me and my husband when it comes to the idea of “romance”, but I have never, for one moment confused “romance” with love.  Love is going to work every day.  Love is paying all the bills.  Love is being here even when I’m being unreasonable or I’m in a bad mood or I’ve had a rough day with the kids and I take it out on him.

It happens.

My love is providing all his meals, keeping our house (somewhat) neat and tidy, caring for our children with as much kindness and patience as I can muster, being here even when he’s boring me into a coma with the details of some stupid planning meeting or yelling at me because something at work pissed him off.

For my husband, that’s enough.  Devotion, commitment, tolerance, patience and the rock solid knowledge that I will never leave.  For me, it’s not.  I want all those little fairy tale gestures, too.  Yes, I realize it’s not fair.  If he is happy just knowing that I am here, I should be happy just knowing that he is here.  Well, I’m not.   Boo fucking hoo.  Buy me some flowers.  Life isn’t fair.

When he falls off the “I must please my irrational wife” bandwagon, I don’t confuse that with “he doesn’t love me”.  Pleasing me is not love.  Sharing my interests is not love.  Love is being here.  Forever.


If you are amused by my puerile brain shittings, you’ll be thoroughly impressed with the thought and wit JUDGYBITCH puts into her posts.  Add this one to your daily reads – everything I’ve seen so far has been top-notch.  She’s on the blogroll now, so get to clickin’.

9 Responses to “The Value Of Being Judgmental”

  1. yip July 23, 2013 at 11:18 pm #

    Thanks Jeff. Like judgybitch so far… read three posts.

  2. pepelp2 July 23, 2013 at 11:36 pm #

    This is why I enjoy your blog. Did you get spittle on the keyboard? ’cause I picture you frothing at the mouth juuuuuust a bit.

  3. garrett July 23, 2013 at 11:40 pm #

    Like I’m gonna read another Blogger?

    I already don’t read Ace, You, or that guy AllenG’s stuff. Although I’m not sure he actually has a blog.

    Get back to Bourbon Casting, dammit.

  4. The Political Hat July 24, 2013 at 12:30 am #

    To quote Johnny Rotten: “Why don’t you judge a book just by its cover, unless it covers just another?”

    What we are missing as a society is the concept of shame. Shame kept social destructive behaviors minimal and typically nipped them in the bud when they were small and just beginning. Now the only thing you can be judgmental against is against the “judgmental” oppressors who seem to disagree with the “whatever makes your inner child happy” idiocy.

    And if those same people ever try to “turn the tables” by asking what would happen if they were all judgmental against you? Aside from pointing out their hypocracy, simply say “I will, then, be a toad.”

    BTW, who is Amanda Marcotte and why should I give a rats butt about her/him/it?

  5. Fred Baumann July 24, 2013 at 7:50 am #

    First visit here & it won’t be the last. Forwarded my engaged son your spot-on musings on the nature of married love vs. ephemeral romance. Thanks much for a lovely, snarky little read,and for the JUDGYBITCH link.

  6. runningrn July 24, 2013 at 9:28 am #

    Nice rant! And yeah, I agree with The Political Hat, the problem is there is no shame in America today. It’s why people have no problem staying on the dole for their entire lives and are willing to trade their freedom for free stuff. I also find it ironic that our betters on the left are constantly nagging us to “not be judgmental”, yet they constantly deride and judge conservative values with a harsh, jaundiced, lip curling hatred. Values like being pro-life, pro-second amendment, pro-marriage (traditional), pro-family, anti-discrimination (not favoring one particular group over another and treating everyone the same regardless of skin color, gender or sexual orientation), pro-America, etc. are demeaned and excoriated viciously by liberals.

  7. geoff July 24, 2013 at 9:39 am #

    Reminds me of Evan Sayet’s talk on why liberals don’t discriminate (in the sense of judge).

  8. MarkinSandyUt (@MarkJDietl) July 24, 2013 at 10:31 am #

    The Sayet talk is the bomb, here is a link for those who have not seen it. Mandatory viewing.

  9. Jane D'oh July 24, 2013 at 11:27 am #

    Great post. Thanks for the link to JUDGYBITCH.

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