Federal Agents Detain Unarmed Suspect At Roadblock

1 May

When it’s giggle- time, nothing is beneath me.

 

NOTHING.

You were all thinking it.

A Saskatoon man is demanding an apology and refusing to pay a $175 ticket for not wearing a seatbelt, because he has no arms and can’t fasten one unassisted.

I know, I know.  How can the cop be such a dick to a guy with no arms, right?

When the Mountie requested his licence and registration, Mr. Simonar stepped out of the car and asked the officer to retrieve the documents from his pocket.

See?  That’s a brilliant move.  You can see the cop’s wheel’s spinning:   Hmm.  Rummage around in his pockets next to his bozack, which this dude hasn’t been able to touch, himself, for almost three decades?  Pass. 

“Ahem.  That won’t be necessary, citizen.  Just try to be more careful in the future.” 

Fuck, yes!  High fiv-!

Sorry.

He said the officer was prepared to let him go, but a Saskatoon Police Service sergeant overseeing the operation instructed him to issue a ticket.

“He became very ignorant, and said, ‘Well if he can’t put his seatbelt on maybe he shouldn’t be driving.’ That’s what really made me mad.”

Hmm.  He’s actually got a good point, though.  You managed to rig up a device to steer your car with one foot (five cars!), you can put the thing in gear using your feet, but you can’t figure out how to fasten your seatbelt?  C’mon, dude.  There’s a whole organization of people out there who paint with their feet.  I’m pretty sure you can figure it out.

And give the cop a break, would you?  He’s an officer, sworn to uphold the law.  He probably doesn’t like ticketing you, but his hands are tie-

 

Sorry.

 

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12 Responses to “Federal Agents Detain Unarmed Suspect At Roadblock”

  1. EC May 2, 2013 at 9:40 am #

    There’s no escape from the long arm of the law.

  2. Joe in TX May 2, 2013 at 10:52 am #

    What a dick…

  3. lauraw May 2, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

    What a whiner this guy is. CLICK IT OR TICKET. No exceptions.

    What if there was an accident and he was seriously injured? Does he ever think about that?

    Douche.

  4. Empire of Jeff May 2, 2013 at 1:04 pm #

    I know, right? The cop was being “ignorant? ”

    What a jerk. Don’t be all pissy because you’ve got no arms. I bet he gets mad at everybody else when he’s playing charades and his team can’t figure out what all his wiggling and stomping means.

  5. EC May 2, 2013 at 1:09 pm #

    “I bet he gets mad at everybody else when he’s playing charades and his team can’t figure out what all his wiggling and stomping means.”

    Uhhh….sandworm from Dune?!?!

  6. Empire of Jeff May 2, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

    No!

    It was supposed to be the movie “Over The Top.”

    How did you not get that?!

  7. thirdnews May 3, 2013 at 12:34 am #

    “which this dude hasn’t been able to touch, himself, for almost three decades?” Methinks you have little imagination but here’s a hint -he ain’t painting with those toes

  8. lauraw May 4, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

    Uhhh….sandworm from Dune?!?!

    I’m dying.

  9. moerawn May 5, 2013 at 5:48 pm #

    Sooo—not Human Centipede?

  10. Larry May 8, 2013 at 10:13 pm #

    boo hiss

  11. soulpile May 21, 2013 at 4:01 pm #

    Hasn’t this guy heard of those automatic seatbelts? You know, the ones that used to strangle small children. If you can rig up a car to be driven without arms, you can find a way to put an automatic seatbelt contraption in as well.

    Everything’s offensive nowadays.

  12. george August 19, 2013 at 2:45 pm #

    Will you be interested in trading links?

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