Where Are You Taking This… Thing?

15 Dec

Yes, I know all about what happened yesterday.  No, I don’t want to talk about it.  Hug your kids if you’ve got ’em.  That’s what I’ve been doing. 

Life must go on for the rest of us, even when that life includes transsexual women’s basketball players


Dude...   No, seriously.   DUDE.

Dude… No, seriously. DUDE.


SANTA CLARA, Calif. — The women’s basketball team at Mission College expected the bleachers to be full and the hecklers ready when its newest player made her home court debut.


In the days leading up to the game, people had plenty to say about 6-foot-6-inch, 220-pound Gabrielle Ludwig, who joined the Lady Saints as a mid-season walk-on and became, according to advocates, the first transsexual to play college hoops as both a man and a woman.

Okay.  I admire the whole pioneering spirit and all that, but I’m having a hard time celebrating any “first” that involves getting your dick butterflied and mangled into a misshapen horror of a fake vagina as a prerequisite.

But maybe that’s just me.

Also, this manimal is 50 years old.  FIFTY.  And playing college hoops.  Does that strike anyone as a bit of activism on the place of the coach?

Cafferata is tactful when asked whether Ludwig’s size and former gender give the Saints an unfair advantage. A self-described champion of underdogs — his roster includes a player who is deaf and others with learning disabilities — the coach is rooting for Ludwig all the way.

Yeah.  I’m thinking “asked and answered.”  But that’s merely where the horror show begins.  In its quest to bend over backwards to treat anyone’s aberrant pathology as perfectly mainstream, the NCAA now has specific fucking rules governing boys who want to tuck their shit back and pretend they’re a lady. 

As someone living as a woman and taking female hormones since 2007, Ludwig was eligible to play in the NCAA. Transgender student athletes who have taken medication to suppress testosterone for a year may compete on women’s teams under a policy adopted last year.

The California Community College Athletic Association had another hoop for Ludwig. Because its rules base gender on a student’s birth certificate, she would need a new one. Ludwig, who had sex reassignment surgery over the summer, petitioned a judge and obtained her papers on Nov. 30.

Fuckin’ A, buddy.  Now we’re getting somewhere.  I want you to read those last two sentences again.  You now have the ability to rewrite history if you get a lopitoffamy and some bolt-on titties.  This dude was born a male.  That.  Happened. 

But now it can get an official birth certificate that says, no, in 1962, this person wasn’t born a male, it was born a female.  And we wonder why there seems to be a surfeit of fucking nutjobs running around these days.  Maybe it’s because we’re telling them they don’t have a problem, it’s US that needs to pretend up is down and black is white.  Because God forbid we mention that the emperor has no clothes.  Or a garbled junkpile that used to be a penis.

“I got exactly what I always wanted, just to fit in and be normal like everyone else,” Ludwig said.

No, dude.  You got everyone to pretend that you’re normal.  There’s a difference. 




11 Responses to “Where Are You Taking This… Thing?”

  1. Warden December 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

    Whack off your pee pee and supress your testosterone all you like, you’re still a man w/bigger bone structure, a differently structured pelvis and larger muscles. So aside from the WTF factor, it’s also cheating the female athletes.

    For God’s sake, look at that thing in the picture!

    But hey, whatever. So long as the freaks feel better about themselves…

  2. Pissoir Dubuque December 15, 2012 at 10:18 pm #

    Lopitoffamy and bolt-on titties. Haw! Made my night!

  3. moerawn December 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm #

    I just re-enrolled in high school. Football practice starts in August.

  4. samuel December 16, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

    hey, when is the next plinket rev…uhh, I mean bourboncast?

  5. museisluse December 17, 2012 at 9:09 am #

    I suspect this numbnut (heh) has a lot more issues than just worrying about finding a spot on a team

  6. RightWingProf December 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

    Loppitoffamee – love it. The reeverse operation is an addadicktomee.

  7. Kristophr December 18, 2012 at 12:23 am #

    He was raised to adulthood on testosterone.

    He has the mass and upper body strength of any other man. Unless all basketball teams become coed, this person is unfairly competing in the wrong league.

    The Olympics used to do chromosome testing for exactly this reason, to catch the few folks that were born XY, but grew up with female anatomy due to hormonal disorders.

  8. Kansas Gman December 18, 2012 at 4:12 pm #

    I bet A-Rod would hit that.

  9. Ghost December 19, 2012 at 2:24 am #

    Well, he never got any tail, so he watched that movie where the guy pretends to be a girl and gets on the whatever team and gets to see all the titties in the shower, and he thought “Fuckin A!”

    So he chopped off his dick so he could finally see some college titties.

  10. Tobias Took (@TobiasTook) December 19, 2012 at 11:47 pm #

    No Taking it to the hole jokes?

  11. Charles Ahner February 16, 2013 at 8:12 am #

    DNA doesn’t lie… and mocks self-delusion.

    (BTW, I freely court trouble by refusing (publicly and privately) to use the ‘she’ pronoun with trannies…)

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