Archive | August, 2012

What If You Threw A Blogwar And No One Came?

2 Aug

That seems to be what Pamela Geller is trying in her latest plea for attention.  This dude seems to be taking up her banner, as well.  The crux of it seems to be that Pamela and her fans are upset that she is not linked to by any of the big conservative sites, like Hot Air, Ace of Spades, Weasel Zippers or Michelle Malkin’s Twitter aggregator, Twitchy.  In other words, she’s not getting enough attention and that cannot be.  The “bigs” are conspiring to ignore her!

Le Yawn.  Unsurprisingly, it has failed to garner any interest.  So, why am I even addressing it?

Because I’m a giver.  I GIVE.

For those of you unfamiliar with Pamela Gellar, and I’m sure there are plenty of you, let me describe her:  she’s kind of like Fran Drescher, with more ample sweater meat and upholstered from head to toe in rich Corinthian leather.  I first heard mention of her as “the titty-blogger,” which right away I found offensive and dismissive, as if the written medium were some exclusive all-boys club and that any woman who dared open her mouth was just some scantily-clad strumpet trying to get by on her ti-




Well, anyway… that’s fine, I guess, if that’s your thing.  And for a while, it was her thing.  This used to be on her masthead:

And yet, for some reason she gets PISSED when you call her Atlas Juggs. Mixed messages, honey. Mixed messages.



Only it’s not her thing.  Not anymore.  Now she’s Fearless Warrior Fighting The Mohammedan Hordes.  Standing Up For YOU.  Fighting!  Fucking Fighty McFighterson!  And this is how she presents herself, now:


She looks like a real news anchor! On the Bourbon and Cigarettes Network.


The main thrust of her complaint is that what she is writing about is Important.  And if she thinks it’s Important, then you should, too.  And if you refuse to link her 13,478th piece in a row about Islam, jihad, sharia or terrorism, then

A).  The terrorists have won, and

2).  You’re a bunch of pussies Selling Out To The Man and his advertising cash, because

3).  What else could explain why everyone is not linking to her?!  She’s on the FRONT LINES of the War on Terror!  It’s a conspiracy!

Allow me to hazard an alternate explanation for your lack of success in breaking into the “elite” level of blogging, Ms. Juggs:

You’re fucking annoying.  And boring.

You only write about pretty much one topic – Islam.  That’s fine.  Do what you do.  This guy writes about model trains.  What he does NOT do is piss and moan about how the elite model train bloggers are shutting him out and how the rest of them should be kissing his fucking beanbag for all the advances he’s made in the world of model trains that those ungrateful shitheels have benefitted from.  If I’m not in the mood for Islam-blogging 24/7, I’m not going to be one of your readers.  It’s that simple.

I understand that you’re trying to build your brand.  Acting like a Stage 4 Clinger is not the way to go about it.  We regret banging you, okay?  We were drunk, it was kinda dim in the club and we thought it would click in your mind when we never called you, even though we said we would.  Most girls get the hint.  Look, I really gotta go – the missus wants to watch Chuck.

Anyhow, good luck with the blogging thing.  I’m only a minor player in the rightosphere, but I hope the linking I’ve done makes up for the lack of attention you’ve been experiencing.



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