Archive | July, 2012

A Republic, If We Can Kee- Oh, Hey! There’s An Extreme Couponing Marathon On TLC!

4 Jul

Happy Birthday, America. Can I call you America? Yes?

Later tonight, I’ll observe my usual tradition of getting drunk and randomly dialing someone in Great Britain to rub our independence in his or her face before cackling wildly and hanging up.

As David G. McCullough noted in his excellent book, 1776, most colonists in that year did not favor independence from England.  Only about a third did.  Another third actively opposed severing ties with the king, and the rest of the people just wanted to stay out of it and get about their daily routine of trying to feed their families and not die of various communicable diseases.  Only about 10% of the population served in any capacity in the Continental Army, a militia or the navy, such as it was at the time.  That’s 10% of a population of only about 2 million colonists.

Times were desperate.  The war did not go well at all.  Many of those who signed up to serve either deserted or simply went home when their enlistment expired, cold, hungry and disillusioned with suffering many lopsided defeats and constantly running to avoid joining battle with their better trained, equipped and numerically superior foes.

It was a very near thing, this War for Independence.  That there were enough patriots – patriots who loved the idea of a country that did not officially exist yet – to carry on the fight and prevail against the British Empire was nothing less than divine providence.

Today’s enemy isn’t the redcoats.  It’s apathy.  When everyone has it pretty good, it’s a lot harder to be on guard for your individual liberty.   One election isn’t going to solve our problems.  And how are you going to motivate the most affluent society the world has ever known, when you could only get one-third of them involved back when foreign troops were hanging citizens in town squares for voicing displeasure against their king?

Human nature tends towards tryranny.  Control.  Making rules for your own good.  And along the way, carving out some nice perks for the ruling class.  Thus has it ever been, and thus will it ever be.  It’s not that those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it.  We’re going to repeat it anyway.  Human nature demands it.

I just hope I don’t live long enough to see it.


White House On Individual Mandate: “Are There Any Paraguayans Here?”

1 Jul

So by now we’ve all worked up a good head of anger over Chief Justice Roberts’ last-minute backstabbing of the Constitution, arguing that the individual mandate is unconstitutional as a penalty, but perfectly fine as a tax, so lemme just find some White-Out…  okay, now it’s a tax. FIFY Barry, LOL!

And now that that little constitutional crisis is over, White House Spokesweasel Jay Carney assures us all that NO, IT’S A PENALTY.


“It’s a penalty, because you have a choice. You don’t have a choice to pay  your taxes, right?” Carney said.

Carney was initially reluctant to assign a label to the fine when pressed  repeatedly by reporters Friday. “Call it what you want,” he said.

But describing the fine as a “penalty” helps fight Republican claims that the  court ruling confirms the Obama administration raised taxes with its health care  law.


“Call it what you want.”  Really, motherfucker?  Really?

You think that’s the end of it?  How about this – the Supreme Court ruled that a PENALTY is unconstitutional, so the law only stands because they have ruled that the individual mandate is a TAX.  But you say it’s not a tax.  It’s a penalty.

That type of weaseling was pretty funny when Chevy Chase did it in Spies Like Us.



Don’t expect that shit to work with us, you lying cocksucker.  You WILL have to pick.  And here are your choices:

Did the president raise taxes on the middle class, OR are you admitting that Obamacare is unconstitutional?


Your boy fucked up, Jay.  Expect to get your dick hammered flat for the next few months as we repeat this question thousands of times.




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