I Approve Of This Message

19 Jul

There have been many complaints that Mitt Romney is not willing to “go after” or “get tough” with Obama.  Some say he’s a wimp, some say he’s husbanding his resources for the last three months of the general election.  I happen to think that he was biding his time and looking for an opportunity.  Look what happened when David Axelrod thought he would get fuckin’ cute by holding a rally in Boston – Mitt’s home base.  Instead, he got heckled by a shit-ton of Romney supporters and was left looking like an idiot, sputtering “You can’t handle the truth.”  Yeah, it was kinda gay when Nicholson said it the first time, and you’re no Nicholson, chump.


Mitt Romney gave a speech in front of the shuttered and bankrupt Solyndra plant, Obama’s $535 million sinkhole.  ON THE SAME DAY.

When given the opportunity, Mitt will go for the cock punch.  And what an opportunity Obama dropped in his lap a couple of days ago.

“If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help,” he continued. “There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business—you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.”

Seriously, bitch?  Seriously?  There is just so much wrong with that that I just had to get involved, but as I have been otherwise swamped at work, and was unable to advise Mr. Romney personally, I sent my colleague Sensei John Kreese to lay out a reasoned response to the President’s speech.  His consultation resulted in the following action plan:



Let’s see how he did.



Oh, damn.  Oh, DAAAAAAYYYUUUMMMM!  Barry, you just got fuckin’ served, playa!

And as per usual, your lickspittles are running around behind you, trying to clean up the mess you made with your own mouth.  And as per usual, when they have to write twenty articles explaining how what we may have actually heard, wasn’t what you actually meant, you end up looking like an even bigger asshole.

I could just splash around in the schadenfruede all day, but I don’t want to eat all my candy at once.  It’s going to be a long election season.


5 Responses to “I Approve Of This Message”

  1. JFirch July 19, 2012 at 11:22 pm #

    I’ve gotta go take a shower. I think I crapped my pants. This is going to be such an awesome election for happy warriors. Keep up the good work Emperor.

  2. soulpile July 20, 2012 at 4:31 am #

    I just hope this works. It’s not like I get to see Mitt’s ads anywhere but on the internet (yeah, yeah, I’m whining about living in a non-important state). He’s saying all the right things, as per a “good” politician. Getting in some good hits. May it get the desired result in November! I’ll just take him over Obie and pray it works out in the end.

    Yeah, I’ve become even more pessimistic over these last four years. Just hoping this hole isn’t too big to get out of yet.

  3. moerawn July 20, 2012 at 5:03 pm #

    Is that Friday Night Lights music? Because, you know, Texas and all.

  4. Blue Hen July 20, 2012 at 6:26 pm #

    Am I the only one hoping that Miss Prissy the President is going to react badly to the unprecedented scrutiny?

  5. The Redinger July 23, 2012 at 2:07 am #

    Fuckin Barry… just keeps stickin his head farther up his ass. It’s a wonder his ears didn’t get in the way.

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