Crushing Liberal Hopes and Dreams With Online Fuckery. UPDATED

15 May

UPDATE:  I woke up early this morning with the uneasy feeling that I had gotten my facts about the Twitter reply system wrong. So I researched it and found out that I had.  Dang.  That section has been updated and rewritten for your education and amusement.  I’m okay with being stupid – I just don’t want to be wrong.

Many of you know me from the comments section at Ace of Spades HQ.  One of you is married to me.  And before you go feeling sorry for her, she could have done worse.

She could have married my brother.

Believe it or not, in my family, I’m know as “The Polite One.”  I might drive you away in tears of rage and  frustration, but my brother will drive you away, and then follow after you when you storm out of the room.  “Where the fuck are you going?  I’m not finished talking.”  There’s worse.  There’s always worse.

When you’re dealing with liberals online, I’m going to show you how to BE that “worse” and follow these smarmy little cocksuckers back to their e-hovels and shit in their Grape Nuts.  Because Fuck Them, That’s Why.

Many of you are already familiar with Twitter, the social networking tool that limits users to posts of 140 characters or less.  When I initially ran across it, I didn’t see the significance of such an apparently limited application.  And then I discovered what opportunity this wonderful microblogging media tool offered its users that no other platform in the history of technology ever had:  the ability to insult actor Mark Ruffalo to his face, in real time.

Seriously, the guy’s a fucking anti-fracking crusade Occutard and he totally ruined the character of Bruce Banner.  And after several interactions with this befuddled, speech impaired douche, which consisted of witty ripostes such as, “Oh, that’s real nice,” and “You’re wrong”  I began to wonder if Twitter could have a higher purpose.

And it does.

Twitter is one of the tools that will help conservatives affect the election by shaping the media narrative, informing a handful of undecideds, energizing the base to get out and vote for Romney, and suppressing the libtard vote by constantly slapping them across the face with the repeated failures of their limpdick Chicago Jesus.

For the WHY of Twitter’s significance to this election, see John Nolte’s piece at Big Journalism.  He’s done a fantastic job of outlining recent conservative media victories, even though he’s a scruffy looking bastard with a Cletus rape-stache.  Whatever.  You don’t have to send your daughter to prom with him, just read his article. Quit being so judgmental.

In the ensuing year, again and again, I’ve seen Twitter overwhelm the MSM and their protectors at Media Matters and those phony left-wing fact-checkers. Try as they might, whether it’s about Obama eating a dog, the hypocrisy of the War on Women, or the real facts behind the economic “recovery”; the media cannot ignore a conversation being had by millions upon millions of citizens. Most importantly, they can’t filter or control that conversation. If the media won’t tell the truth or point out the hypocrisies, we will — and the media not only can’t stand that, they’re also forced to grudgingly cover it or look completely out of step with what the “real news” is.

Here are some things you can do to create maximum havoc amongst the liberals.

Look for the next bullshit liberal meme.  How do you know it’s bullshit?  Easy.  They’re all bullshit.  Simply watch your timeline and wait for the debunking to begin.  For example – the story about Romney terrorizing the boy at his school.  The man’s family says it was bullshit, the guy who said he had “long been disturbed” by it turns out to have not been there or even HEARD of it until the reporter told him of the allegation –  the list goes on.

Go to these news stories that debunk the liberal meme du jour, copy the URL, and then tweet it to your favorite liberal asshole.  Say, sawed-off douchebag Bill Maher.  Most liklely, it will be ignored.  A more effective alternative is to wait for Maher to tweet something stupid and erroneous and then reply to his tweet.  It will not be a long wait.  For example, if I reply to one of this asshole’s general conservative-bashing rants with the heartbreaking news that Obama has been proven yet again to be a Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure™ to @BillMaher, complete with a URL to a news story outlining his latest flop, I know that syphilitic runt Bill Maher will see it.


Syphilitic runt Bill Maher is the only person who will see it, unless both he and I have followers that follow both of us.  What’s the good of a public humiliation if there’s no one around to see you stuff syphilitic runt Bill Maher into his e-locker?  How are your followers going to know that you’ve got a live one?

Rallying the Troops:  The answer is in fucking with Twitter’s reply system.  When Twitter first started, if you followed someone, you saw EVERYTHING they wrote, including replies to people, talking about shit you couldn’t care less about.  So, in 2009, Twitter changed their reply system so that it became a threaded conversation between the two parties and those tweets did not appear on your timeline to your followers.  It does that by automatically moving their Twitter handle to the beginning of your reply, so that when I hit the reply button, it starts with “@BillMaher” and then I start typing in my reply. 

By adding a period to the beginning of his handle – .@BillMaher –  then all of my followers are going to see it.  Now you’re getting your tweeps into the fight.  And will you get a reply?  Absolutely.  Their arrogance demands that they “put you in your place,” which results in them showing their ass even further.  Don’t go for the kill just yet.  If you play your cards right, they’ll either fuck up and move your Twitter handle to the end of their reply or put a period before your handle, so that all their followers can bask in their “brilliance.”  And what kind of audience will you have, then?  Syphilitic runt Bill Maher has 1,176,223 followers, as of this writing.  Are you smelling what The Rock is cooking? 

Get the info out there.  Most of their libtard followers will discount it.  But enough will be depressed by the constant, and FACTUAL reminders of Obama’s many failures that they will have no desire to get off their asses and vote on Election Day.

That’s just one simple tip – there will be more in the weeks to come.  Do your part, citizen.

Block The Vote√

8 Responses to “Crushing Liberal Hopes and Dreams With Online Fuckery. UPDATED”

  1. SCS May 16, 2012 at 2:20 am #

    If only this helpful tip could get posted in LifeHacker. Cause I know this is gonna consume my next week sending helpful messages! (evil smile)

  2. Kansas Gman May 16, 2012 at 3:10 am #

    Mark Ruffalo lived in my neighborhood for a few years back in Kenosha, Wisconsin. While the rest of the boys in the hood played baseball and hoops, Mark spent all his time playing hopscotch and dress up with the girls. He was just as big a homo as a kid as he is now. The only time he returns to Kenosha now is to show up at LBGT fundraisers.

  3. soulpile May 16, 2012 at 3:17 am #

    That’s just beautiful. Never knew about the “.” before.

  4. empireofjeff May 16, 2012 at 7:50 am #

    Everyone – please see the update.

  5. Hedgehog May 16, 2012 at 10:18 am #

    EoJ, I thought that you said Twitter was for fags? I guess I need to get on there…

  6. dananjcon May 16, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

    Egggzellent could have used the period tip the other night. Carry on Jeff.

  7. JewishOdysseus May 18, 2012 at 12:16 am #

    That Nolte piece hit a nerve w/me, too…Maybe time to stop being an anti-brevity snob, and just spend the rest of my life hurling acid in the faces of leftards.

    Howdy, EoJ!


  1. Nolte: Why Conservatives Must Join the Battle for America On Twitter | Darth Chipmunk - May 16, 2012

    […] Ace of Spades HQ commenter and blogger Empire of Jeff connects the dots. Share this: This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← […]

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