The Smell Of Fear

10 May

By now, you’ve all heard that President Barack Obama supports gay marriage.  Fine and dandy, lots of people do.  People that are homos, but still, not exactly earth-shattering, especially for a libtard.  After all, Gay is In Fashion.  Queer Eye for The Straight Guy.  Glee.  Grey’s Anatomy.

But the big question I had is – why now?  First, Simple Joe, apropos of nothing, says he supports gay marriage.  Ok, but he’s just as likely to come out in support of oranges, electricity and HUGS MEAN LOVE!  YAAAAYYYY!  Easy enough to dismiss as “Joe being Joe,” as Obama is wont to say every time Biden splashes his brain shittings all over the news.

But then, one of his Cabinet members comes out in favor of it the next day.  Then Obama schedules a hasty interview to get out in front of this thing.  He’s worried about the myriads of gay staffers, parents of his childrens’ friends and military members who deserve the right to have their love recognized.


But you already knew that.  So why is it so important to launch a social issue offensive, and why on this issue?  Excite the liberal base?  Court the gays and their Hollywood connections for money?  It’s certainly possible.  Obama is having a $40,000 per person fundraiser at George Clooney’s house that is expected to raise $15 million dollars.  Mostly from average shlubs that are donating much less just for a chance to touch the hem of Barry’s garment.  Hell, I’d love to go just to take pictures of Mooch standing next to Stacy Keibler.

So why else?  I have a few suggestions.  Desperation would be my first guess.  This Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure™ wants this election to be about anything but what it’s going to be:  a referendum on his piss-poor leadership of this country.  Record deficits.  Record national debt.  Record unemployment.  Fast and Furious.  Record casualties in Afghanistan. The GM bailout.  His failure to close Gitmo. Gutting our military.  As soon as this election turns into a recap of the last three years, it’s over.

Piss-poor advice would be my second guess.  Whoever is counseling Obama to get the focus off his record is on the right track, but the unintended side effects could be enough to sink his reelection chances.  For every liberal who’s clapping their unwashed dickbeaters in glee at the prospect of a smorgasboard of new stoolpusher wedding reality shows, there are at least two Democrats with another reason to stay home on election day, and another three Republicans and/or Independents that are so turned off by this disgusting display that they will show up just to punish him on Election Day.

I am going long on popcorn futures as it is obvious that this was a calulated move.  But Team Stumblefuck should check their math.  Because this could be the Mother of All Miscalculations.





5 Responses to “The Smell Of Fear”

  1. Purp (@PurpAv) May 11, 2012 at 5:41 am #

    We’re well through the looking glass. The voter math just doesn’t work out on this one. His “strategists” need to back away from the crack pipe.

  2. pissoir dubuque May 11, 2012 at 9:46 am #

    i laughed so hard it made my head ache. way to go, man.

  3. Laura Castellano May 12, 2012 at 2:37 am #

    Heh. “Brain shittings.” i’m totally stealing that one.

  4. dananjcon May 12, 2012 at 10:07 pm #

    Isn’t it amazing the washington post just happened to have the Romney’s a gay basher story published the day after Barry’s coming out party?! Heheh “unwashed dickbeaters”

  5. The Great Satan's Ghost May 13, 2012 at 8:16 pm #

    At this point all Romney has to do is keep his mouth shut and Barry will keep imploding day after day. seems moronic in the non-AoSHQ way.

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