Liberty Under Assault: Losing The Rights To Our Bodies

7 May

I mean, seriously.

Is EVERYTHING a crime these days?

In Egypt, dude would have had a 6-hour pass to tap that ass.

Toledo police have arrested a 57-year-old Michigan man and charged him with abuse of a corpse for allegedly “fondling” a woman’s body at a west-side funeral home.

Charges against Lawrence J. Clement, of 2411 Sunnydale Dr., Temperance, were filed just after 9:30 a.m. Thursday.

He was arrested at about 1 p.m. in West Toledo, according to a news release from Toledo police. Police say that he had “sexual contact by means of touching erogenous zones” of Brenda Shular-Cameron, 51.

I have an objection to the use of the adjective “erogenous.”  Was the deceased in danger of becoming aroused?  We don’t know, but we can safely assume she was asking for it.  Have you seen the way they tart these dead gals up? And what about the reputation of the funeral home – isn’t anyone worried about the potential economic consequences to small business owners?  After all, can they be held responsible for the actions of a rogue employee?

H.H. Birkenkamp, in Toledo for 150 years, has had problems in the past.

In 1988, two former employees, John Gardner and Ronald Allen Yeager, were found guilty in court of abusing a corpse.

Yeah, well… still.  Two corpse-fuckings in 150 years is a pretty good record of compliance, even if one of them was apparently a threesome.  I think that only counts as one incident, technically.

My question is, why do Democrats insist on intruding in the bedroom mortuary?  I thought Republicans were supposed to be the prudes.  Apparently not.

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2 Responses to “Liberty Under Assault: Losing The Rights To Our Bodies”

  1. grognard, SMOD-Squad May 8, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    Let me guess – the dude’s hearse was painted in yellow and pink and airbrushed with the words “Pussy Wagon”?

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