I can’t thank you enough, girl.
Fart jokes? Aren’t I better than that?
The Social Security Administration officially reprimanded an employee whom colleagues accused of continuously “passing gas and releasing an unpleasant odor” that created a “hostile work environment.”
“When senior management became aware of the reprimand it was immediately rescinded,” agency spokeswoman Dorothy J. Clark said in an e-mail to The federal Eye.
The Social Security Administration said it withdrew the reprimand seven days after sending the letter, which is dated Dec. 10.
See? These ass-grabbers will back down once their suffocating tyranny is exposed for what it is.
The letter, which came from the agency’s Office of Disability Operations, cited 60 documented instances of the worker passing gas in his office during a period of about 12 weeks.
The employee allegedly had episodes as much as nine times in one day, according to a log of the incidents included in the letter.
I don’t know about you, but this seems to be yet more evidence of a bloated Social Security Administration, and I’m not just talking about Farty McSmellypants. A FIVE-PAGE reprimand letter. For farting. With a “log” of each seperate incident.
Here’s an idea: crack a window. Move him to Storage Room B. Anything besides wasting our money documenting the ass-blasts of some fat-assed government drone.
Even if you instinctively feel like you might be. Because it’s really hilarious, and that’s not YOUR fault.
I saw the “Invisible Driver” prank from the same guy that Ace linked yesterday morning on Fox and Friends. This kid’s got skills.
Sorry I’ve been away awhile – I’ve been getting crushed at work and am barely through the front door at home before running back out to take my Master Race to one hockey arena or another. Got some more stuff coming up soon, I promise – and am working on adding video fuckery to my skill set. Stay tuned!
Yes, I know all about what happened yesterday. No, I don’t want to talk about it. Hug your kids if you’ve got ‘em. That’s what I’ve been doing.
Life must go on for the rest of us, even when that life includes transsexual women’s basketball players.
SANTA CLARA, Calif. — The women’s basketball team at Mission College expected the bleachers to be full and the hecklers ready when its newest player made her home court debut.
In the days leading up to the game, people had plenty to say about 6-foot-6-inch, 220-pound Gabrielle Ludwig, who joined the Lady Saints as a mid-season walk-on and became, according to advocates, the first transsexual to play college hoops as both a man and a woman.
Okay. I admire the whole pioneering spirit and all that, but I’m having a hard time celebrating any “first” that involves getting your dick butterflied and mangled into a misshapen horror of a fake vagina as a prerequisite.
But maybe that’s just me.
Also, this manimal is 50 years old. FIFTY. And playing college hoops. Does that strike anyone as a bit of activism on the place of the coach?
Cafferata is tactful when asked whether Ludwig’s size and former gender give the Saints an unfair advantage. A self-described champion of underdogs — his roster includes a player who is deaf and others with learning disabilities — the coach is rooting for Ludwig all the way.
Yeah. I’m thinking “asked and answered.” But that’s merely where the horror show begins. In its quest to bend over backwards to treat anyone’s aberrant pathology as perfectly mainstream, the NCAA now has specific fucking rules governing boys who want to tuck their shit back and pretend they’re a lady.
As someone living as a woman and taking female hormones since 2007, Ludwig was eligible to play in the NCAA. Transgender student athletes who have taken medication to suppress testosterone for a year may compete on women’s teams under a policy adopted last year.
The California Community College Athletic Association had another hoop for Ludwig. Because its rules base gender on a student’s birth certificate, she would need a new one. Ludwig, who had sex reassignment surgery over the summer, petitioned a judge and obtained her papers on Nov. 30.
Fuckin’ A, buddy. Now we’re getting somewhere. I want you to read those last two sentences again. You now have the ability to rewrite history if you get a lopitoffamy and some bolt-on titties. This dude was born a male. That. Happened.
But now it can get an official birth certificate that says, no, in 1962, this person wasn’t born a male, it was born a female. And we wonder why there seems to be a surfeit of fucking nutjobs running around these days. Maybe it’s because we’re telling them they don’t have a problem, it’s US that needs to pretend up is down and black is white. Because God forbid we mention that the emperor has no clothes. Or a garbled junkpile that used to be a penis.
“I got exactly what I always wanted, just to fit in and be normal like everyone else,” Ludwig said.
No, dude. You got everyone to pretend that you’re normal. There’s a difference.
UPDATE: Apparently the servers at Podomatic that actually host the podcast are down right now. Keep checking in periodically. If they haven’t come back up by tomorrow morning, wait longer.
UPDATE 2: I changed the link type to https and that seems to have fixed it – I don’t know why. If you get a warning box when you click on it, just click “Show All Content” and it will start playing automatically.
I gotta tell you, that election did not go over well with me. At all. I didn’t feel like talking, writing or discussing a damn thing to do with the biggest event of American history this century, so I took some time off.
But eventually you realize that after a certain point, you’re not getting any drunker. You’re just splashing raw booze off the wet, brick-like object that was your liver. And hey, I can take a hint – when you’re hallcinating Michael Biehn from Aliens, maybe it’s time to get back to work.
So, with that sage advice, I decided it was time for another Bourbon-cast in which I would outline exactly what happened that allowed Obama to get re-elected in the face of his shitty performance over the last four years.
As usual, this is NSFW due to potty mouth and the high likelihood of offending the limpdick liberal anklebiters at your office that undoubtedly hate you.
If you want to listen to all episodes from the beginning, you can go to my podcast home page:
Election Day. Fuckin’ Game On. Nut-Cutting Time. The Great Cleansing. The Un-SCOAMFening.
This is when we end this foolishness once and for all. Get out there and vote. It matters.
Encourage your sensible friends to vote for Romney. Deride and verbally abuse your Obama-voting acquaintances and tell them early returns show Mitt Romney with a 20-point lead and that Chris Matthews has barricaded himself in his dressing room with a bottle of marshmallow vodka and a revolver. Tell them they’re “fittin’ to be ruled by Tha White Man.”
It is never too late to suppress the Democrat vote. Fuck ‘em.
I will be taking tomorrow off for my victory lap or my angry, bitter recriminations. The former will be much more entertaining.
Let’s Do This.
Some of you are aware that I’m into powerlifting, so I’m always looking for new insights into techniques that will help me increase my lifts. Men’s physical strength for this type of lifting typically peaks at around age 45, so I have a few more years to do something excellent.
This young man has got me fired up. Although, with the typical callowness of youth, he sees perfecting his clean-and-jerk technique as a way to pick up girls, I have to admit that he’s pretty successful at it. Just remember, that which goes up, must come down.