After all, it has a history of causing you to get naked and eat people.
All I could hear about on the ride home today was how Kristen Stewart, best known as emo teen cutter Bella Swan… Seriously? Bella Swan? That’s the character’s fucking name? Okay, I just looked it up and confirmed that Stephanie Meyer is indeed that much of a hack. Anyway, she plays the female lead in the Twilight films, and from what I could tell from the one movie my wife allowed me to take her to, it involves her mostly moping around and looking angsty.
Anyway, the big buzz is about how she admitted to having an affair with her director on the film Snow White and the Huntsman. Her director, Rupert Sanders, who is married and has two children with one of her co-stars. She admitted it, of course, AFTER pictures of her and this douchebag were leaked.
I know, I’m stooping to celebrity gossip, but I just had to say, I feel bad for her long-term boyfriend Robert Pa-something. My first wife cheated on me with one of her co-workers, too, but at least the whole country didn’t see pictures of it. Although I wish they had – I probably would have done better on the financial settlement. And although this dude is already in constant danger of being smothered by a panty-tsunami, by all accounts he was a faithful and dutiful partner, so I doubt even Brad Branson could dig him out of his funk right now. Humiliation and betrayal are not exactly the most powerful aphrodisiacs.
As for Rupert Sanders (pictured above with his box lunch), what a shitball. And now your kids are going to know what a piece of shit you are.
If you have any kind of decent relationship with your children, they think you are the best, bravest, kindest, funniest, most handsome and special man in the world. How could you trade how that makes you feel for anything, much less a pale, pasty piece of homely ass who’s young enough to BE one of those children. Ugh. Man card: PULLED.
However, the same people who right now are decrying the “values” of Chik-Fil-A are going to continue to patronize the films of these two paragons of virtue.