You see them on the streets every day – slowing down traffic by taking up just enough of the lane so that no one can pass without risking slamming head-on into oncoming traffic.
Alone, they are irritating, usually causing no more than a half-minute’s delay before the opportunity presents itself to jerk the wheel around them and cathartically mash the accelerator to the floor as a proxy for stomping the shit out of the snotty, entitled shithead holding up the entire planet.
In packs, they are a spandex uniformed, grape-smuggling rolling goatfuck, collectively emitting enough raw douchebag pheromone to send the mildest motorist into paroxysms of profanity-spewing road rage.
They hinder. They irritate. They annoy.
And now, THEY KILL.
San Francisco prosecutors said they would file felony vehicular manslaughter charges against a bicyclist who allegedly hit and killed a pedestrian, in a case that has become a flash point for debate over bicyclists’ rights in the city.
The manslaughter charges — unusually stiff for a bicycle accident — stem from a March 29 incident, when 36-year-old bicyclist Chris Bucchere allegedly ran a red traffic light and plowed into 71-year-old Sutchi Hui in a crosswalk. Hui died on April 2 of injuries related to the collision, The Wall Street Journal reported Saturday.
This is the problem with these assholes. They’re constantly beaking off about how they have the same “rights” as car drivers to be on the road. What they NEVER talk about, or even acknowledge, is that they also have the same RESPONSIBILITIES as any other vehicle operator. Stopping at stop signs? Fuck that, I don’t want to have to switch gears, so I’ll just make a left turn in front of you and blaze through that three-way intersection, causing three cars to slam on their brakes.
Fuck you and your sissy-assed ball-hugging shorts, you selfish jerkoffs. You’re not a “peloton.” You’re a bunch of annoying dicks. Take one of those bananas that you so ostentatiously display in the back pocket of your spandex shirt and shove it up your ass. It’s about time that one of you were charged with a serious crime for your self-centered asshattery.
Now scoot the fuck over before you taste some truck side-mirror, asshole. You’re making me late for work.